JAGABANISM vs BABA-KEKEREISM – By Oyinye Gandhi
People’s Voice Nigeria Online News
The battle between jagabanism (aka Bullion-vanism) and baba-kekereism (aka Trader-moneysm) will ultimately assume the form of a circular firing squad. In reality, jagabanism and baba-kekereism are logical extensions of buharism – the failed political and economic philosophy of the APC. So, arguments against one amount to arguments against the other.
Understandably, Jagabanists are shocked and embittered at the rise of baba-kekereism as an independent tendency. They’re especially hurt that baba-kekereists could muster the audacity to challenge Jagaban’s divine right to the presidency. They have angrily labeled them traitors. Yet, both tendencies have more in common than they seem to realize.
But, Jagabanists have drawn the battle line, and they’re obviously well armed for battle.
Jagabanists possess superior financial muscle given that their tendency is synonymous with bullion-vanism, and their leader has a proven proclivity to distribute national or state loots with uncanny generosity.
Conversely, baba-kekereists are trader-moneyists, so they lack the financial capacity of the bullion van. However, they can make up for this by striking a deft alliance with the ideological heads of buharism who currently control the treasury. And this is significant because top buharists are known to loot with integrity. In fact, experts have suggested they do not merely loot, they just take without question. But they always do so with integrity!
Their method is called ‘lootogrity’. It is a very effective form of looting without being perceived as looting. It is achieved by drowning public protests with ceaseless shouts of integrity while looting with gusto.
Armed with such monied alliance, baba-kekereists can level up and force Jagabanists into a debate about long CVs, the type they have been circulating on social media in recent times.
Jagabanists may not fare well in such debates. Recall that Jagaban is yet to provide his authenticated academic bonafides from Chicago. Sources close to him say the Covid-19 pandemic affected his plans to visit Chicago recently to pick up his academic transcripts and certificate. They insist he’ll get them whenever the pandemic is completely eradicated from all corners of the world, or better still at the end of the conflict between Russia and Ukraine!
Interestingly, despite his long CV, baba kekere has been forced to unflinchingly defend failed buharism in order to secure the vital patronage of leading buharists. Also, he is yet to explain how kekerenomics would be different from buharinomics given his role as the head of the economic team behind buharinomics.
Meanwhile, Jagabanists are generally silent on the constitutive elements of jagabanomics. They have only hinted that given his role as the chief proponent of bullion-vanism, Nigerians can expect cash-dispensing bullion vans at every junction under a Jagaban presidency. They assure us that MC Oluomo and co would be drafted to ensure transparent distribution to all Nigerians.
Contrast their bold plan with kekerenomics whose core tenet, they allege, is the establishment of paltry esusu accounts for Nigerians.
Whatever the case, the two tendencies are yet to show why the Nigerian people should trust them with power. But that may not be necessary as their ongoing battle points inexorably to one outcome: mutually assured destruction (MAD).